Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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