So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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