booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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