Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
