she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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