This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize