um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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