Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
