It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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