so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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