people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Terrible idea I love it
Please don't give away my fajitas
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
