is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
