We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Randomize
