Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
