Only a mothe r could love this liver
so let's talk penis.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I could fuck to npr.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
