It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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