you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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