I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
