i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
