I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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