Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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