so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
