Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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