oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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