she looked like the before picture.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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