I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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