He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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