We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
