conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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