u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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