kristin has been a bad kristin
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
