"it" just moved
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
