his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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