Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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