She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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