Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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