Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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