got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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