You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
