Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
