Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
