Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
