this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
