Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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