I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
