she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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