I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
