i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
