I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
