I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize