yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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