Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm both gender and math confused
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