wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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