my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
