Got a toothbrush?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
