dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
