I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
