She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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