i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
