It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize