I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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