"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
