first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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