What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
