I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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