i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
