Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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