I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
