none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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